I’m Just a Big Cry Baby!

To have a sense of abandonment is not the best feeling in the world, it’s a little despairing to say the least. If not for my wife’s constant encouragement I would be all alone or at least I thought I was alone. I have cried out to God for some answers and He didn’t let me down… Let me make this crystal clear I am not comparing my self to Jeremiah the prophet, but because I just read through Jeremiah he’s fresh on my mind, I feel like he did, after preaching God’s word for 40 years, nobody cares, nobody wants to hear someone with strong convictions in regards to God’s word… I know here’s a tissue for your issue, act like a man and gird up your loins and get back into the race…

Yeah you’re right! But we’re human and pride takes a hold at times.

God has really been good to me, especially in Church yesterday, well it actually started after men’s group last Monday night. The last few weeks I have felt down, I mean am I really making a difference in the lives of Christians? I have felt abandon and left alone, like on an Island, but after our last Men’s group, Dave one of our Elders came up to me and thanked me for my words and for my preparation I bring to the study every week. I couldn’t get over that, I appreciated it so much that I called him the next day to thank him, I needed that. Then this past saturday I get a text from a friend asking me if I’m alright! Come to think about it, God in His infinite wisdom was working in me a couple of weeks ago when a friend out of the blue text me and ask me how she could be praying for me… Coincidences? I don’t think so!

But then things happened in Church yesterday that were not mere coincidences, people came up to me that seldom or never come up and said hello or how are you doing! After I taught on Sanctification in Romans 6 a continuation from last weeks Sunday school class a former member who was there just for Sunday school sent me a voice mail while the service was going on, I didn’t listen to it until I got home, he didn’t stay but said he wanted to tell me how much he appreciated this mornings class and how edifying it was, he thanked me for my passion and how I just used the word of God to explain the text in Romans 6, amazing, just out of the blue! Coincidence?

Then there is my co-teacher Tim who is also an Elder who is always supportive as we go along in our study in Romans, it’s really a wonderful thing we have together, to have the same convictions as we teach verse by verse in Romans, it just reminded me that I’m not alone.

Before the service started a Missionary from Haiti sitting in the row in front of me turn around and told me how much she looks forward to reading my posts and as she put it “sometimes they are heavy and difficult to understand, but she said I need that, I need to be challenged like that, so she thanked me,” I’m thinking to myself I’m just a big cry baby! Then after the service the couple and their family who was sitting behind us were there as a church plant, He tapped me on the shoulder and said to this big cry baby, your passion for worship is contagious thank you! Probably referring to my Amens I shouted out. All Coincidence? I don’t think so!

So why have I opened myself up to you, Well just to encourage you and show you He doesn’t call us to be successful, but faithful to Him and His word and what seems to us is the case, really isn’t! It’s not what we’re doing, it’s what He’s doing through us,  God doesn’t promise us a rose garden, but He will help us tip toe through the tulips.

So I got to thinking the other night as I was going over my notes on Sanctification for Sunday school as long as I have faith in God and rely on Him and His word… As long as I faithfully study, teach and proclaim His word, I’m going to be ok! Because I am His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which He prepared beforehand so that I would walk in them.

He’s the Sovereign God of the universe, He’s in control and whatever comes my way, so let it be! I’ll keep fighting. Isaiah says this in Isaiah 66:2 “For My hand made all these things, Thus all these things came into being,” declares the LORD. “But to this one I will look, To him who is humble and contrite of spirit, and who trembles at My word.

But to this one I will look

Father help me to be humble, let me  
be contrite and always tremble at Your word!

and that’s a beautiful thing!
Soli Deo Gloria


Filed under Lenny's Post

5 Responses to I’m Just a Big Cry Baby!

  1. Wendy

    I haven’t thanked you enough for all the work both you and Tim put forth for our class. You have passion for God’s Word, it shows and I am thankful to be in your class.
    Shame on me for not thanking you enough.
    You are not alone, there are those in your class who come back week after week for the truth that you bring. I know God blesses this hour every week.
    Thanks again
    In Christ

  2. Peg Burns

    Funny thing Len…yesterday after church, I was leaving kind of late, and saw you and Matt E. talking on the side walk. I did not want to interrupt the 2 of you, but I also did WANT to say —“THANKS Len for your “Halleluiahs” and “Amens”!! They are a MOST beautiful and honest and TOTALLY appropriate expression of love and praise for our Lord! If we don’t cry out in praise to him—the rocks will—and YOU brother put the “explanation point” at the end of some of the songs and words—and we NEED that….I LOVE THAT! My spirit says it quietly—and you punch it—SO PLEASE Len—keep on punching.
    God Bless your day Len—and your work for our God.
    Love in Him, Peg

  3. Judy

    THANKS, LENNY–for your outlandish, over-the-top, in your face, reckless abandonment and total devotion to sharing the message of Jesus Christ.
    May you and yours be blessed.

    Now go blow your nose.

  4. Matt and Amie

    I know its a good song when I hear from the back row!!!

    Lenny, (i.e. Big Baby),

    I want you to know that you truly have made a difference in my life, and I can’t thank you enough. As evidence (for the reading audience), I want to share the web article that you, Lenny, by the providence of God gave to my wife and I during a period of despair and hopelessness:


    The article above did two things; first, it provided an explanation to our circumstances that has given us comfort and peace that going forth, is never shaken. We may never overcome our circumstances and their heartaches that come with a disabled child, but we will always have the eternal joy of Christ the Savior; and that is a beautiful thing!!!

    Secondly, it let us know that in the midst of our desperation, when we felt all alone and it seemed like no one cared, God had somebody in mind all along praying for us and keeping us in mind to come to our aid during our period of despair. Thank you, Lenny, for being the Christian that you are.

    The Estrellas

  5. I just want to thank you all for your comments and those of you that e-mailed me, I am truly humbled. This post was to share with you that what seems to be the case, is really not the case at all… That God is truly in control of everything and He has a purpose in our suffering.

    I started this blogg, I guess coming up on 5 years now (November 13 Hey that’s today) to share God’s word and to share whats inside of me, and I’m Just a Big Cry Baby! was something that needed to get out of me… So Thank You!

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